40 years passed in a blink of an eye. As I take stock and reflect on my fleeting journey, I feel that I have seemingly wasted my life away. What constitutes a meaningful life with no regrets? Interestingly, the things I remember with great fondness are those that brought the deepest pain and sorrow to my heart.
I think of a time
when I was young,
when I found no love from anyone
and felt so abandoned and unwanted
on this lonely planet,
when I looked into the night sky everyday
and wondered if there is Anyone out there
for me.
I remember the first time,
when I wanted to do
my very best in a test
and I failed miserably,
the hurt and the shame
that I am not good enough.
I think of the loss
when I first started
looking for employment,
when I browsed thru
all the job adverts
and found no suitable job,
the realisation that
I was not qualified
for the jobs I desire.
I remember the embarrassment
when I was down to my last cent,
but had too much pride
to go to my parents for help.
I recall the pain
of being rejected
by someone I treasure
despite me giving my all.
Though we value and prefer
those moments of joy,
it is our saddest and darkest moments
that shaped us and
made us who we are.
I think of the movie ‘Inside Out’. We seek to preserve our happiness
and keep sadness away from our core memory. We find the ‘sadness’ emotion such a burden and deem it unnecessary. But without the ability to be sad, we became unfeeling and ‘unhuman’.
Most importantly, pain and sadness is the most effective emotion that can draw me back to that Someone who understands and cares for me and my heart is at peace when I find my rest in Him.
‘I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.’ John 16:33
Simple Thoughts 